Struggling with the finer aspects

Well, I've had some interesting days. It's one of those times that even though there really are no huge ups and downs money wise, it still feels like it's been swingy as ever.

The poker players mindset is brittle. Think about it. Lets say you play tennis, and just cannot win a point against someone. They seem to have your number at least tonight. But do you keep asking them to play more sets? Probably not, as you would rather be winning while you are playing. Poker is very similar. You always want to be winning sessions, yet this isn't a reality. If you are winning every session, you are either many levels above the players you are playing, or are just running good. If you can't take the negative days, you have a leak. What's more disturbing is the maths going on when behind. I have run bad tonight (may be true), and am down 2 BI's. These tables don't look like giving me any action, I'll move up a stake, where I'll only need one lucky hand to get that money back. Another more disturbing thing is it's a relaxing, fun game you can play on a computer at home, which is where I'm stuck most nights. I also enjoy a drink, and drinking and playing poker is bad, but it feels good. You are relaxing with your drink of choice and your pastime of choice, too easy. Only it's a damaging thing to your bankroll as you are easily more -ev while drinking, if not terrible while drinking.

So last weekend was a mix of the above paragraph. Fridays are my new super Fridays, grinding for as many hours as I like, and I was pumped before playing, and may a nice 1.5BI profit in no time. Rather than instantly spoil it all, I had a break, watched a movie with the Mrs, and let her go to bed while I went back to the tables. About 1 hour in I was going average at some HU on Pokerstars, and decided to end it soon, so cracked open a beer. It wasn't terrible, but I'd say I probably drank 2-3 more while playing, which didn't actually effect my game that much, and I ran up a 2BI profit on stars for a nice night.

Saturday is always a no poker day, but my wife is obsessed with a book, so soon enough forum searching and other stuff suddenly seemed secondary to poker, even though I'd probably had 4 drinks before starting the session. HU cash again at stars, and I ran pretty bad. I had a horrible 2BI loss against one average player, where I got it in with the better pair for stacks QQ vs AT on Txx, KQ vs JT on KJx, and lost both. It wasn't long after this that I decided NL100 HU would be better and proceeded to hit a flush and have top pair hold on against an OESD FTW. He left, and I quit, up five american dollars :)

Sunday, again I should not have played, as I had 3 drinks before and was enjoying the gentle art of watching sport on TV with those beers. However, I felt like running good again, and once more made a couple of tender moves and was probably down over 1BI. I didn't move up at least this time, but did run good, and managed to take 1.5BI's off a real donk, and another 0.5BI's off a solid player to finish up a little over a BI.

So as I said, no disaster stories in there, but plenty lurking if I keep this up. This weekend coming up is super important for my mental approach to the game now.

Last night (Monday), it's back to normal grind mode at Absolute Poker, except I'm really ready to 3 table NL50 now. I feel almost bored 2 tabling now (right up until now, I've been intent on getting great reads and watching players), and feel I can get those reads with less effort (becoming 2nd nature). So I opened 3 tables, and did feel a little rushed and confused for a while, probably tilting off 1 BI just playing like a donk, which is to be expected I guess. When I'm rushed I actually loosen up, which is weird. Anyway, I kept saying to myself that this was just something I had to work through. I still went further down when aces were cracked for a full BI, but managed to gain control and saw my profits returning soon. I probably just had it back, when I tried to semi-bluff (I had the best hand til the river) an overly aggro preflop player, but otherwise solid player. I was trying to rep a small set (had 44 unimproved) as I thought he had overpair or AK. The river came a king and I still donked $25 his way, repping a set pretty strongly. He tanked forever, before making the call. I kicked myself for trying to bluff him off TPTK, it's a very high variance play if it ever works at these levels. Still lady luck came a running and I coolered someone with Ace high flush versus King high flush (ATss vs K9ss, funny), and then top pair vs a donk, to be up $10 for the night. I was pleased with my 3 tabling efforts, very pleased with the results, but not pleased that most of the losses of the night came from trying to bluff people. I have to play more straight forward on these tables. It's probably a little bit of HU creeping into my postflop game.

So I will continue to 3 table, and try to make a video tonight doing that. I feel I'm ready to have my game re-assessed since making a lot of substantial improvements since last session I had. If anyone out there wants to see my video, just let me know. It won't be as educational as a Cardrunners one, but it's always good to see what the real strugglers do compared with yourself.